Starting Over

I like the meditative quality of tarot; it helps me focus my thoughts and see things from a different perspective than usual. Every January, I sit down and think about what I hope to achieve in the next year and where the last year took me.

I didn't do a tarot reading at the start of 2009. Glancing through my tarot journal, I see that almost all the readings I've done in the past two years were related to Dan. Dan also does tarot, and we would read each other's tarot spreads and talk about our interpretations. In fact, the first time I was over at his apartment when we weren't dating, we talked about tarot and he mentioned that his deck was under his pillow...except that it had fallen behind the bed. When he pulled the cards up and handed the deck to me, the card on the top was The Lovers. He said later that he hadn't realized it at the time but that it was certainly a good sign. And so it was.

One thing that always, always came up in both of our readings was the fact that our entire relationship was dependent upon Dan to direct its flow. One of my journal notes shows The Sun as the card of hopes and fears. My note: "A cherub. The sun rays. A red flag. A wall." Perhaps I should have paid more attention.

Yesterday, I sat down to do a reading for 2010. I get a sense of change and renewal, and doing well at work. The overall positives outweight the outcome card for me. Ten of Swords is not a tremendously positive card, but on the other hand, it's a card of change and endings. Endings aren't all bad; when one thing ends, another begins.

That's how I see it. For me, this is a year in which I will finally accept the changes that happened in the past year and put it behind me. I'll be okay.